moved

my back hurts so much. i just want to go back to sleep but sleeping is somehow the reason my back is hurting. ughhh

cocaineinyourasshole:

my sister just got home from her scoliosis surgery. this was my gift to her. 

Damn, I had surgery 10 years ago and I’m still not straight

(Source: uselessheartache)

ruby-moon asked: I have the same scoliosis problem. D:

IT’S AN ISSUE!!!

obviously, one of the milder, insignificant ones but you’re sitting there trying to figure out how to get to your right foot and it’s just like 

I want to paint my toenails but scoliosis

crimsoncandy:

Scoliosis 

(via musicspeakswhenwordscannot)

lmao and this is post-surgery, y’all. 

i hate it when exercises “for scoliosis” don’t think about people who are fused

fuck you with your bendy shit

021. I’m lucky if I can watch 20 minutes of women’s gymnastics without crying.

Anonymous asked: I saw your scoliosis post and started crying. Finally someone who gets it! I went through the same thing and everyone asked me how I felt, but it's the hardest thing to describe. When you lay down, you feel like you're sinking into the bed. Your back is so heavy, you feel like you can't even carry yourself. You feel like you have two huge poles in your back, even though they're just thin bars. Sleeping is practically impossible once they take you off morphine. It's terrible. BUT SO, SO WORTH IT.

Oh, I’m sorry my post made you cry but I’m so glad someone read it and identified with it. Especially the heaviness! I feel like that’s, like, the hardest part of the experience to communicate. Like, idk, how when you sit up it feels like every muscle and bone and molecule in your back is readjusting clumsily. Sometimes you can feel an intense downward pressure accompanying the heaviness. It’s just so bizarre and overwhelming.

Exactly. Terrible but immeasurably worth it. This is the best anon message I’ve ever received.

Trigger Warning: discussion of surgery and needles

Well, I was, like, 11 when I had my initial surgeries and that was about 10 years ago for me. So the memories are a bit fuzzy but I can safely say that the short answer is that it sucked royal ass.

if you want the long, frank, anecdotal, and curse-filled answer (and I do mean long)

Read More

014. I had 4 major spinal surgeries before I was 18.

diagnosed in 2000. I had an extremely aggressive case. 

2001

• the surgery for this scar 
• and a week later the surgery for this one

2002

• hardware “repair” (braced for 6 months afterwards)

2007

• more hardware work. got back 2 weeks before graduation. 

musicspeakswhenwordscannot replied to your post: lmfao lmfao my grandma bought me a car!!

How does driving hurt you? Because it makes me super sore, haha. No one ever understands what I’m talking about.

well, keep in mind that I’m inexperienced at driving and, uh, terrified of it? So it could just be the tension from the nervousness that fucks my life up. Idk, like the driving posture isn’t fun for my uneven hips and it’s just.. it’s not a natural position for my body, which hurts, and then the whole tension & nervousness makes me stiff and sore. 

It’s hard to get over being scared when you’re in pain the whole time.